Kupas Na Pag-ibig

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”Happy monthsary”

 

Ito yung mga salitang namimiss mo mula sa taong minsan naging iyo. 

Dati rati, ang araw na yun ay napaka-espesyal para sa inyong dalawa kasi ito yung celebration ng pagiging magkasintahan niyo. Palagi kang excited buwan buwan at naghahanda para sa pagdating ng araw na ito. Pero nung wala na kayo parang natatakot ka ng dumating ang araw na ito kasi maaalala mo lang ang mga bagay na dating nakapagpasaya sayo. Maaalala mo lang ang mga ngiti mo kapag kasama siya. Maaalala mo na ganun katindi ang pagmamahalan niyo na hindi niya kayang ipaglaban. Kung pwede lang wala ang petsa na yun para hindi ka masaktan pero hindi eh, kelangan mong harapin na ang dating espesyal na araw na yun ay isang ordinaryong araw na lang para sa kanya. Na ang dating masasayang alaala ay napalitan na ng masasakit na mga alaala, ang dating mga ngiti ay naglaho na at ang dating pag-ibig niya ay kupas na.

 

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The Dilemma of Having a Unique Name

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While Filipino parents are fond of giving their children a commonly used names like Tintin, Nonoy, Boy or Baby, there was a mother in a small town of Gandara who named her daughter a peculiar name, Knikon.

Yup, that’s me. It’s peculiar because a lot of people are asking me if it’s really my name and they find it hard to spell and pronounce. It pronounces as Nikon. ^_^ Most of the time they mishear it as Nicole and spell it like those of appliance brand and slippers. Great Mom!

I don’t know if they are deaf or heard it right but just preoccupied with the common name Nicole. Just like in Starbucks

Cashier: Maam what’s the name?

Me: Knikon

Cashier: What Maam, Nicole?

Me: No, it’s Knikon

Cashier: Nicole?

Me: (Irritated) Oh my God, yeah right it’s Nicole.

Another encounter was when the cashier in one of the stores that I went, had hard time spelling my name so I volunteered to write my name on the official receipt.

And this is the funniest encounter that I ever experienced about my name. One time I sent a request in a FM Radio Station and the DJ read my name as ‘KINIKON’ instead of ‘NIKON’! Imagine, she said my name wrongly ON AIR. Funny ayt?

And now when someone asks my name I tell them that my name is Nicole. They always thought and misheard it as my real name so might as well use it. I always have a lot of explaining to do like how my name spells so to avoid this hassle I just go with the flow, and embrace Nicole as my second name.

Honestly it’s not so annoying, instead I take it hilariously. Nicole is not a bad name, if I were to be born by my mom again I would love to be named Nicole. Nicole or Knikon I’m still me. It’s just the name that’s confusing, but my personality will always be the same as what and who I am today.

Us, Girls!

 

We, girls, tend to make fuzz out of simple things. We take it as a big deal. We over analyze things. We nag, laugh out loud like a lunatic. We mess our boyfriend’s hair that he just fix for half an hour. Shout at him when we have PMS. We talk a lot like there is no tomorrow. We have mood swings. Fickle minded most of the time, we cry over a heartbreaking scene from a movie. We are a self-confessed drama queens,

 

but when we love someone we give everything to him. We are open of risking our heart to someone knowing that he might just break it.

 

We are always at his side when he needs someone. We never leave when the world leaves him. We still treat him like a king even if everybody throws a trash on him. He is still our Superman even if everybody thinks he’s weak. We listen to what his heart wants to say when nobody wants to listen to him. We can be equally goofy and romantic just to see him smile.

 

Girls are special. 

 

We are both annoying and sweet, because we are made that way. We reciprocate what guys give us or even more, so if he breaks a girl’s heart he should expect a fuckin’ pain that he deserves. 

Mara Clara

Mara Clara was the longest soap opera ever aired on the Philippine TV. It’s about two babies were switched at birth in the nursery when they were born. Mara was the good one and Clara was the villain in the series.

 

The series is pure fiction. But, do you think it can happen in a real world? I think so. I mean being switched was impossible, but having a Mara and Clara identity is possible. I believe that each one of us has a Mara Clara personality.

 

The Mara in me.

I was a cry baby when I was a kid. My classmates in elementary used to call me nasty names just because I don’t let them copy my test papers. I don’t like cheaters. At the end of the class they always bully me so I ended up crying while going home. They were really bad. It always happen.

One more thing, I ran for the school’s President and unfortunately I was bested by a lowly creature who just won because she promised the students to treat each of them with a hamburger. My heart was broken because I had all the good intentions for the school even at young age. I cried a lot. I was defeated just like that.

I had an ex-boyfriend for almost two years who used to hurt my pride and ego. He was insensitive, sadist, and a chauvinist pig. He always hurt my feelings and even hurt me physically. I lost my self-esteem and confidence the entire relationship, until one day I realized that I was losing myself too. So I learned to fight and I broke up with him.

Those things that I experienced are the reasons why I became an antagonist in every way. Aside from the strong features that I have, I was always the villain in every drama that my school was producing. I am used to it besides the acting is very effortless because I was portraying my kinda life story. 

 

The Clara in me.

I had this huge crush on my classmate in elementary since first grade, but he always had a crush on other girls every school year. Dang! So every school year too I had to plot a plan to make the life of the girl miserable. Lets jump on the fifth grade.

  • FIFTH GRADE- Let’s call her Ashley. She was a transferee from Manila and became my neighbor. She was so thin and not pretty. Haha! We became friends. I was true to her until I learned that my crush had a thing for her so I started to become a villain. I taught her a native language ‘Yatot’ and gave her a different meaning. ‘Yatot’ is a Waray-waray term for rat, but I told her that ‘yatot’ means intelligent. She was so proud that she even got up to the platform and shouted at the top of her lungs ‘Yatot akooooooo!!!’ Everybody laughed at her, including me. I was so mean back then. She became the laughing stock. Her cousins got mad at me but the hell I care! haha!
  • SIXTH GRADE- Let’s call her Sam. She was a transferee again. Duh? He always had a thing for transferees. She was way prettier than me and a Mathematics buff. She has this really curly hair and deep-seated eyes that I thought everybody likes. My crush, err all of the boys in our batch liked her since the first day of class. First plan, I let her sign my slum note to know more about her and I found out that she is a year older than us. A repeater. Voila! Weak point. I told everybody about what I found out but nobody cared. Second plan, I was so observant with her answers during recitations and whenever she made a mistake I always correct her. Third Plan, she joined the Drums and Lyre Corp as a minorette. And the thing is, I was the school’s majorette. So I gave her a living hell during practice. I put her under the sun for so many hours, bully her and asked her to give 20 pumping exercise whenever she made a mistake. I wanted her to give up. Fourth plan, I was elected as the class’ President so as a newly elected leader I had to be the person in charge of the election. I sabotaged my friends to nominate my crush as a Senator so he would not be the Escort because for sure Sam would be the muse. And I was right! Ü My crush was nominated for the Escort position, but I disqualified him because he already won as Senator. )

Latest.

I confronted one of my room mates way back 2009 because I was late for work. Why? I hardly sleep the night before because she didn’t turn the lights off. I thought she was studying, but to my dismay she was just playing Plants Vs Zombies! When I met her the next day I confronted her and told her lies that I got memo from HR Dept. She looked pale. haha!

My boyfriend and I were on our way home when the driver of the jeepney that we were riding suddenly stepped on the brake, so I was shocked and shouted ‘Ay Syete!’ out of fright. Then suddenly I heard the two girls laughing at me. No, they were sort of mocking me. So I turned to them with raising left eyebrow and told them, “Anong nakakatawa?”. The girls silenced their shitty mouth.

My boyfriend and I (again hehe) was in this gadget-accessories store when Clara Del Valle spirit took over me again. The saleslady was kinda mataray eh. She did’nt believe us that we were next in line, she just passed us by, so I told her, “Ay ate nakakainsulto ka naman”. Out of shame she entertained us.

While buying an earbuds, I told her to let us test it, she did, but she just inserted the earbud into computer and tested it by herself tapos sabi niya okay na agad. Duh?! I raised my eyebrows. Nagmamadali? Nagmamadali? May meeting???? It shoud be us who should test it because we were the one buying it. Ayun napahiya siya because I stared at her for like one minute. Haha!

The latest person that I don’t like is Hannah (not her true name). She is just a
newbie but she’s acting like she is a part of the team for a long time, and I hate that part. She always interrupts, crack a joke, Miss-Know-It-All, Fashionista daw, and everything. I hate it when everybody laughs at her corny lines. My boyfriend said maybe I am just jealous. Why would I get jealous? I’m way prettier than her, I have a fair, smooth skin, bedroom voice, I’m smart and talented than her. She is a brainy, while I’m brains with beauty. I’m a packaged type of girl, whiles she’s not. Ha! I just hope she shut the fuck up even just for a day. I hate hearing her voice, so irritating!

Wala lang. I just have the attitude of not liking the person even if  he doesn’t do anything bad to me. I don’t hate the person, I just don’t like him.

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This article points out that each of us has it’s own reason why we end up being a bitch. Maybe we were hurt before so we don’t have a choice but to be a fighter even if it means being bad on the eyes of everyone.

Relatable Posts

 

You’ve been hurt. Yes I know that, but it’s wrong to hate someone you thought you’d spend forever with, because somehow you were once happy with him. Remember the times when you were in love, he was the reason behind every smiles you had. It’s okay to cry, but never ever curse him. Instead hold the pain he had caused you and use it as motivation to be a better person, not a bitter person. One day you’ll be okay and that badass who broke your heart will run back to you, but you wont want him no more. ♥

 

 

 

You have moved on, but when you close your eyes it’s still his face and the memories you’ve had that flash back unintentionally. You love him less now, but in the deepest part of your heart there lies a feeling of wanting him again. That if he knocks on your door you will never have a second thought of not having him back. You will always say yes to him regardless of the pain you have gone through. Well, you haven’t really moved on, you just get used to the pain or maybe you have moved on but not yet over him. 

 

 

There will come a time that you will miss someone who once the reason why you wake up in the morning with a smile, but it doesn’t mean that you need to be with him. You can never avoid it because once in your life you spend almost forever with him. It is better to just miss him than to spend your life with a person who doesn’t give a fuck if you’re still alive or not. Someday you will have a reason to wake up in the morning with a smile again, this time with another person who deserves you.

Wanted: BOYFRIEND

Look for a guy who loves you more than you love him. A guy who will give importance to you like no one else did. A guy who will show you how special you are to him even if your’e just an ordinary girl from the block. A guy who would look at you differently, someone who would see your soul and discover beautiful things about you that no one else can.

 

A guy who will catch a bullet for you, because he loves you that much. A guy who will trade his life just for you. A guy who will do everything to give you the best in life and won’t expect anything in return. A guy who will text you everyday to remind you how much he loves and value you. A guy who will call you every night to bid you sweet dreams. A guy who will protect you.

 

A guy who can hold your hand when it’s sweating. A guy who will stand up for you when his friends diss you. A guy who can accept your foolishness. A guy who can’t bear the thought of losing you. A guy who is willing to wait for you. A guy who can set aside his ego just for you.

 

A guy who wont force you to change just for him. A guy who can make you feel that you are a lady who deserves to be treated like a princess and not an ATM. A guy who will still court you like how he got you as his girl. A guy who has a huge respect on his parents. 

 

A guy who loves God.

 

And when you have him right now, don’t ever let him go because if you do, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Daddy’s Once Little Girl

It’s already 12:01 o’clock in the morning and I’m still here in the office waiting for my boss’ call.

♫ Tick tock tick tock

I can hear the clock’s sound already. I haven’t had a good sleep since Sunday. Ow gosh I think my eye balls are popping out! I cant look at the mirror. I’m dry and sticky, as in literally sticky! Not to mention boredom. Thank goodness I brought my I-Pod so I’m able to listen to music.

 

When you are alone things are popping up in your mind. I came across with the song I Will Be There from Kyla and suddenly a feeling of nostalgia started to creep over me. I got a flashback of a happy faces of mom, dad, and me.

 

Come to think of it, things happen so fast. We just don’t realize it. It was just yesterday when I was just the little girl my mom used to dressed and now I’m already the girl in a business suit. There was just one man in my life and that was my dad but today there’s this guy whom I want to be with for the rest of my life. I cry and call  mom when somebody hurts me, but now I can stand up and fight for myself. When I was a little girl I was hurt  because of bruised knee but now I’m hurt because of bruised heart.

 

I don’t know anything about falling in love. All I know is life is wonderful, a candy land. Where sweets, chocolates, candies are made. 

 

Life is so simple before. It was just me and my doll. It was just my dad and my mom. I watched movies with them, we ate together, laughed at small things. I was my mom’s little angel, and my dad’s princess. They were my sanctuary and my cocoon from the world’s cruelty.

 

I remember him as the best dad a daughter would be proud of. He was the kind of father who would try his best to tie his little girl’s hair when her mom is not around. Mind you, my hair was a mess. He buys me candies when I was crying. When he goes home from work, he still had a strength to cook for us even if he was tired. I don’t know how he does that, maybe he was a living superhero. He was the one who always ask my mom to forgive me whenever I make a stupid mistake, he was my defender. I remember the time when I had my first boyfriend, he never ever scolded me for falling in love. He just gave me a fatherly slash motherly advice. He gave his full trust on me, unlike mom. He worked hard to give us the things that a father and husband would want to give his family. He was too kind to hurt mom when she nags him, he just sit quietly there and swallowed the hurtful words that my mom said.

 

Then things changed.

 

We lost my dad. He was with someone else now. My mom was hurt and I was left with half of the earth’s face solitude in my heart. Everything was falling apart. I thought my mom is his queen and I’m his princess.

 

He left without saying goodbye.

 

I wish I could bring back the hands of time. I wish God will grant me even just one day to go back from my childhood days when the only man I know is dad. It still hurts when I think of happy faces of the people from the past.. Life goes on without me. So I should move on, get on with my life and accept that I’m no longer his little princess..

 

I miss him. I hope that even if he’s far away, he still think of the daughter he used to carry. The baby girl he used to call Princess. I love you dad even though your’e not with us anymore, I’m still the daughter who would take care of you when your hair turn gray.