Clumsy and Her First Love

My heart was beating so fast as if I can feel it jumping into my throat. That was the day! The day I was going to see my lost love, the one who captured my innocent heart all these years. It’s been two years, but i can still feel the love, pain and remorse that lead my  lachrymal gland to work. Lakrimal what?! He was my first love and the one who turned my world into a carousel of rainbow. Whew Rainbow. I’m high!

“What am I going to do when i see him?”  was the first thing i thought when we agreed to meet. NOTE: I was so in love with him that’s why I was the one who asked him to see me. I know it was such a cheap move. I thought of telling him that I still had a thing for him. Oh gosh I just couldn’t keep it anymore. I even prepared a speech. Haha! I thought of embracing him and kiss him so much, but it was definitely an atrocious idea ever. I chose to be just me, no pretensions.

I was so excited and at the same time nervous. The feeling is giving me a flock of butterflies in my stomach. Geez I hate that! That was the chance to feel his embrace once more, a chance to let him know that I still have this old feelings for him. A chance to intertwine his fingers on my sweaty gross hand. A chance to have a glimpse of his smile, even if he has a false teeth. LMAO!  A chance to have an hour with him. Did I sound a little demanding? No? Okay. 🙂

There I was walking around the familiar place we used to go. The place gone wilted, rubbish and abandoned. Could it be because his love for me had withered also? I really didn’t know. I walked slowly and sit on a bench where we used to sit. Crazy, I imagined younger versions of us cuddling while sitting on that very same bench I just sat on. I could even imagine him doing those little sweet things he used to do for me. Those things that sent shiver down my spine. I missed those moments when we teased each other. I used to call him a Chinese who eats Gumamela leaves (inside joke). Haha! And on our first date, we were strolling in Imelda Park after dinner. We were just watching the stars that night, because the environment was so ebony that you can even see the stars so vividly. The next thing we knew was that somebody pointed a really bright light on my face, my cousin. Ugh! Memories.

BEEP! A text message from him awaken me from reminiscing wonderful moments he shared with me. Whew! I felt my sweat came out and my hands were shaking. Oh Em Gee. He was really cominggg!! I just sat quietly, looking nowhere and anticipated the next episode of my love life. Sounds like a television series. :p

Three minutes became one minute, one minute became three seconds and three seconds became ——-

“Hey there”.

OH. EM. GEE. His voice. ^_^

I didn’t want to look at him because I was afraid to fall deeply in love with him again, but then I had no choice, so I turned my head on him instead. Olala! I saw the guy who took my heart away and didn’t even bother to return it. Douche bag!

Damn! He was still hot as ever. Hot as in undies-dropping hot. 😀 I couldn’t even speak, and oh I lost my speech. Dammit! Why now. Huhu! My heart was beating 10 times faster than the normal. I was dumbfounded. I lost for words. That was not supposed to be. 😦

He was the one who do the talking. Women, women, WOMEEEEEEN! He was talking about his women after we broke up. And my contribution? I was just giving him side comments, if you call “Really?” “Oh my gosh is that so?” “And?” a side comments. 🙂

But even though he was talking about his women, I was still able to reach Cloud 9. The fact that he was in front of me in flesh, I was more than joyful. I even heard Taylor Swift sang

♪♫ Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess It’s a love story baby just say yes ♫♪

Then an unexpected thing happened. I screamed so loud that even a glass would break. “AAAAHH I HATE YOU AAANTS!” I was bitten by a lot of ants. F*ck I didn’t notice that I sat down near an Ant Hill. Ugh! Then I was disappointed when I saw him laughing really really hard. He was laughing at me. He was making fun of it. I was disappointed and hurt. He was just laughing as if he was not deeply and madly in love with me. The next thing I knew he was blaming me for being so clumsy. 😦

What more disappointing was when he kept on watching the time and asking me if we could leave. Honestly I wanted to spend more time with him, but out of shame I said, “Yeah your’e right let’s go home”. I felt like he never wanted to talk to me at all nor see me again.

We rode his motorcycle. His dirty old motorcycle that was a witness of how crazy we were for each other. In fairness he drove me home, but left as soon I got down from his motorcycle. Such a douche bag indeed.

And now it was all just a memories. It was a part of the past now and there is no way to live it in the future. Everything happened for a purpose. Maybe he was just meant to be my first love, but not worthy enough to be my last love. Maybe we are not meant to be forever in love and maybe we were meant to be strangers, forever.


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